Growing up

So I'm officially an adult haha yay for birthday's, I must say I have been thinking lots this last week. Life is crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way ;) and lately it's been an emotional rollercoaster. I must say I have learned a lot though, and I still have a lot of that left to do... But I'm slowly learning what means the most to me in life.

My family, I love them all dearly and I wouldn't trade any one of them. My parents are amazing and support me in every single thing I do (even if they think I'm not making the smartest decision) My brother's are simply amazing Eric is such a strength and example to me he may never know that, but he has helped me so much throughout my life, Leif is slightly over-protective, and sometimes that makes him a little irrational but he is a light in my life, and can always make me laugh, and Conner is wise beyond his years and just about the sweetest kid he is always there to give me a hug and tell me that "boys are dumb and overrated," haha
My friends, I have some of the absolute best friends in the entire world! They are all an example and strength, and a huge support in my life I honestly have no idea who I would be without them. My best friend Jacqueline is AMAZING honestly I don't know how I got along without knowing her for all of high school, I'm so so glad we are friends now though, and SO glad I have her as an example to me everyday!!! And then I have Becky, Jenny, Kayla, and Tasia as well they are absolutely some of the most amazing girl's to walk this planet. I am so so lucky to be able to have multiple best friends, and to be blessed to have each of them in my life!!!
The gospel I have been a member my entire life, and while I have had my fair share of struggles, I know that I can recieve guidance and strength. I know I may not always make the right choices, but I also know that that is the reason we are here is to learn and grow and become more like the Savior that we may be able to return and live with Him one day! And I will do everything in my power to make it to that place in my life. I know exactly where I want to be, and nothing will ever change that!!!
I guess the whole point I'm trying to make is reflecting on the last 21 years of my life it's been a rollercoaster, but I wouldn't change a thing. Yeah I have made mistakes, and yeah I wish that things would pan out differently, but I can't change someone's mind, nor can I go back and change the past...so the best thing to do is pick up all the scattered pieces, take a deep breathe, and press forward...

"I wrestle with demons and darkness, I've wrestled with what has been lost, I carry this crushing weight on my shoulders and try not to think of the cost, it's more than a single decision it's giving up part of myself it's something I simply can't do on my own, so I'm pleading with you for your help,
Again and again I've asked myself why, I don't think that I have any tears left to cry, my soul is so tired, I'm longing for rest, I'm giving my all and I'm doing my best, it hurts to move on from the place I am in but you understand where I've been and you reassure me it's time to start over again...
I'm finally ready to listen, I'm finally ready to hear. Struggling to get to a place you can reach me, where peace can speak louder than fear. I can't see the end of the story there's no way to know how it ends. For now I let go and I trust you to lead me and show my heart where to begin.
Again and again I've asked myself why, I don't think that I have any tears left to cry, my soul is so tired, I'm longing for rest, I'm giving my all and I'm doing my best, it hurts to move on from the place I am in but you understand where I've been and you reassure me it's time to start over again...
All of the pain and confusion I'm going through I'm turning it over to you. Willing to trust it's the right thing to do,
Again and again I've asked myself why, I don't think that I have any tears left to cry, my soul is so tired, I'm longing for rest, I'm giving my all and I'm doing my best, it hurts to move on from the place I am in, but you understand where I've been and you reassure me it's time to start over again..." -Jessie Clark Funk, "Again"